A bijou by any other name...

Caution: this post may induce flashbacks of the 1970's.

Beginning in my early teens and lasting through age 37, I would find myself doodling my first name followed by the last name of my current heart's fancy. Girls think that this practice will bring some sort of luck. Positive thinking. I like my last name and the family that comes with it and have thought about how my mother's maiden name is not carried on by her and her sister because they have each taken their husbands' names. But nonetheless, I always assumed I would take my husband's name when I got married. I was always reassured by the fact that I have a brother and a lot of male cousins on my father's side of the family to carry on the name, because, of course, all of us girls will get married and change our names.

So then I got married. As you know, my current heart's fancy is Bo. Having reached "a certain age," or a certain point in American culture, many people asked me "so--are you keeping your own name or are you taking your husband's name?" We received many cards and gifts and checks with all the permutations of "Bo + Bijou" possible. One check simply said Bo + Bijou. My American acquaintances didn't seem to know what to expect. Out of a dozen close female friends of my generation who are married, only two of them kept their last names. Bo actually has fantasies about becoming a famous writer and using my last name as his nom de plume.

As you also know, Bo is from the province of Quebec. In Quebec there is a civil law dictating both parties in a marriage shall keep their own last name. It's in here somewhere, article 393 to be exact. It was actually stated during the civil ceremony. So I am the same Bijou I have been since the day I was born and Bo is Bo.

Interestingly, the tradition of marriage is rapidly fading in Quebec. Couples form and stay together without getting married. Or they form and split up without the messy divorces so common in the US.

What about the children of these modern couples? Whose name gets carried on? There are generally two answers: they either have the father's last name or they have two last names, mom's and dad's, sometimes hyphenated, sometimes not. In my class of 16 students, seven have their father's last name, eight have two last names and one has her mother's last name.

So what happens when these kids start having kids? This tradition has been going on long enough that we know the answer. The two-named people who get together with other two-named people, married or not, have some choices to make when it comes to naming their children. They can do what they want within a limit to the number of last names a person can have (2, I think). They can even create a totally different name (although the only people I've actually ever known who have done this are all Americans).

Actually, my friend from junior high school is the first person I've known personally who had to face this choice. She grew up with a hyphenated combination of her mother's and her father's names. Now she's a mom and her kids have a triple hyphenated last name. Fortunately the names are short and in its entirety, it has five syllables. Just imagine if Rafaela Gabriela-Sarsaparilla decided to complicate her simple relationship with her aardvark and have a baby with Albert Andreas-Amardillo!? PHEW! All those names over and over can really wear you down. (Forgive me Schoolhouse Rock, I'm actually teaching pronouns to my students right now and I can't get this episode out of my head...I added the hyphens for effect.)

Thanks to my in-laws for giving Bo a nice (and simple) name. Thanks mom and dad for giving me a nice (and simple) name. Thanks Quebec for making the decision for us to keep them.